When size does matter

Miss Chiquita

Being surrounded on a daily basis by Swedish blondes with legs up to their armpits can be soul destroying, especially if you’re a mousey haired Brit of no significant height.  My spirits were however temporarily lifted when I saw a recent job ad.  It was for a Miss Chiquita to promote Chiquita bananas (no surprises there) – those funny little bananas that always look at least 2″ too short.  This Banana Diva was expected, amongst other things, to be:-

  • happy
  • outgoing
  • a lover of the spotlight
  • good with people

Well, all fine there then.  Who cares if you’re challenged in the height stakes.  Quite the opposite in fact. I saw this as an opportunity to be grabbed with both hands.  Finally, I’d come into my own.  Who better to endorse dwarf bananas than little ol me??  It’s a match made in fruity heaven!

Miss Chiquita’s outfit of the day was to be a fruit hat and a matching dress in royal blue; my favourite colour.   But, it was there that suddenly I faltered.  We’d reached a stumbling block.  Applicants, according to the ad blurb,  had to be TALL to cope with Miss Chiquita’s long, flowing dress.

I’ve been called many things in my life, but tall is not one of them.

The funny thing is, I re-read the ad just now to torment myself.

And there it was again in black and white – you had to be tall and over 160 cm.   I’m not 100% metric and so idly wondered in my miserable state just how TALL you really had to be.   Having Googled 3 times just to make sure – it’s 5 ft 3″.   I mean, when was petite TALL?  Is short LONG?

Am I going bananas?

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